God forbid we say the word "recession". Country wide denial is a beautiful thing. However, it is still real and it is still effecting households in very real ways. Not just in the states where, as I heard today, the equivalent to half of the Canadian population is unemployed, but from coast to coast it is impacting Us.

The government has a hiring freeze on, as we have all heard. This is not the scary part though. The Government is also on a " manhunt" for lack of better words. They are watching for anyone or thing that is costing them, sniffing it out and then stemming the flow. This is easily comparable to the Spanish Inquisition.

They find individuals who will offer "eye witness reports" of over spending, a relative term as it is subjective to each department or defensiveness of the "witnesses". They take these 'facts' and gather all supporting documentation, inquire into upper and lower lines of authority, then swoop in on the individual or department and "inquire". These departments are guilty and these 'inspections/ checks' are really after the fact. They have found a 'goat' and their 'due diligence' is met.

Departments and employee's watch the shadows cast by Government Checks and hold their breath, watch their backs and pray it's not their turn to be 'made an example of'.

Recession impacts the employed . . . not just the unemployed.

Gates Night has come to a close and all is calm and well.  After all these years I still hold my breath until the midnight hour passes.  I guess the trainings of our youth are hard to break.

The quarantine has not prevented the seasonal merriment within the house.  Yesterday was home made bread, cinnamon raisin loaf and flaky delicious apple pie.  All of which was topped off with a delightful treat of a Home Made Root Veggie Pie by Madeileen.  It was delicious but not an every day venture, I hear.  Much like a fabulous chicken pot pie but ... ummm.. missing the chicken

Today was more prep for tomorrow.  Alien cupcakes and pumpkin carving (really not The Baby's gig this year) and rounding out the afternoon with a pizza supper.  Afterwards the Unleashed made us his dessert/suprise.  Worms in dirt.   We watched Young Frankenstein as a family movie and everyone TRIED to tuck into bed early in spite of the high energies for tomorrow.

Halloween... so very much like Christmas enthusiasm in our house.   Makes me want to fire up the hearth and hang blackened and deformed stockings .

and don't forget to order your Tobi Tree today!

We joke about the swine flue, H1N1, with a little tongue in cheek mirth.  It does not mean we aren't taking it seriously it is simply that it is seen as something other people deal with, people in the newspapers.

That is what I told the Doctor last night when he told me that I have H1N1.    I informed him that he was mistaken, only people in the newspapers get it.   Regardless, he didn't seem inclined to change his diagnosis.   The swine flu now doesn't seem very funny.

Full quarantine for five to seven days from first symptoms. 
The boys are home from school, ( they were sick on the weekend) and won't be returning for the remainder of the week.
Shane's work policy is that, having been in contact with a diagnosed H1N1, he is not allowed on the premises for five days.


I have never felt like a leper before.  An untouchable.  It is an indescribable feeling.   A blend of anger and resentment and shame.  All driven home like daggers with the sight of those little paper masks.

Movie Night!!   

The boy is struggling.   Grade 7 and now Junior High.  Things have changed but not changed.  He is still in the same school just a new wing.  His friends are not the Older Kids but still the youngest of the Older Kids.   It is the first year where the teacher's don't "hold your hand" through agenda writing and homework and other self monitored responsibilities. 

Like Freshman Year at college, there is a spring board thrill of the freedom that comes with not being coddled.  The 'keggers' of social lunch gatherings and after school activities spiral into a whirl wind of liberation that comes crashing down when the report card of " LA  44%, Math 52% and ... etc" crinkles in sweaty palms.  The long death-row walk home to the parents giving lots of time to think and review and sweat!

Dman has hit that point.  Infact, he has hit the point, hit his buddies, hit his fatigue line and hit pretty much anything near him EXCEPT his books!  His 'party life' has led him to do a lot of things for peer-sake that has cost him the trust of his parents.  Nothing earth shattering, each thing truly minor in the big scale of possible traps, but the path and 'big picture' is worth dealing with.

These Include;

• two physical fights with a boy that (in my mind) deserves to have D take him into a dark alley.
• 3 Detentions for failure to hand in assignments
• confrontation with best friend in playground
• mid term report card showing Failings
• passive aggressive avoidance of responsibilities at home
• signed up for Facebook while appearing to wait for permission to do so

As I said, all minor in and of themselves.   When put together in an eight week period it makes for a pattern of conduct that I do not want to ignore.  We have rallied the team of Teachers, Parents and Councellors and pulled together the support network around him again.  I have made it very clear that " being the good guy"  won't let him slide beneath the radar. 

Now I just worry about going too far.  Being " that mom" that is a source of embarrasment and hurassing for Dman.  the Freaky Friday mom of " Make Good Choices!!!" that has his peers snickering behind their hands.

Sighs. 

I have damn good kids! They are self aware ( for their age), they are good hearted and they believe in family, friends and their own faith.

they are still kids and I still have the role of their mother. I am responsible for riding shot gun as they navigate through the crazy course of growing up. The every changing balance of reassuring encouragement and firm corrections a daily worry as I scan down the path ahead of them watching for obstacles and pit falls. Ever vigilant for situations that they may not even know COULD exist, I pray that I have prepared them sufficiently to handle what ever gets thrown at them... and that I will be able to be there for when they aren't.

Sighs. Worry.

That's what parents do. It's the Job Title.



Still, I worry.
Am I too involved? Not involved enough? Am I creating neuroses, or am I supporting lack of responsibility? Am I sufficiently pushing them to be mature while ensuring that they are still allowed to be kids? Am I? ....

I will only know when they are old and have kids of their own if I have done well.   So instead I just Worry.

" And there she is...  Bovine Betty with the unpretentious Country  wide ass!"

".. both of them going from dawn till dusk, God bless'm.  Not a spare minute to themselves.  Lord Jez's.
I haven't ridden  bareback on a Saturday night since little Gordy got bumped up to Bantam A."

The last few months have been filled with courses and studies through the Chronic Pain Center here in the city.    It is only part of the process.  The center also houses doctors and specialists trained in this area.  

Yesterday I met with my Doctor again to review the medication levels and effectiveness.   ( The Fears of Stigmas and Histories )

It's not easy to maintain your intellectual acuity when your emotions are leading you astray. Some of your problems may arise because you are trying to be objective, yet your feelings create a fiery passion in your heart. Your visceral reaction is to love one person or idea and push the others away. Unfortunately, your opinions will still come across in everything you say unless you monitor yourself throughout the day.



Me ?  Passionate?   bah!

Well, this is how a calendar fills.

Dman is in Cadets.  Tuesday Nights plus some mondays depending on his option choices.
Unleashed has joined brazilian jiu jitsu  and will be there Tues, Thurs and saturdays for an hour each.
I have reduced my courses through the CCPC to once a week plus appointments.

and we are now booking into December.  Call early to guarantee your reservation!

Coming home from very lonely places, all of us go a little mad: whether from great personal success, or just an all-night drive, we are the sole survivors of a world no one else has ever seen.

A victory that is offset by staggering losses.

Patience is a virtue.
Time heals all wounds.

The English language is full of quick quotes on how time is a reasonable thing to allow to pass. It cautions us to slow down and allow the ease of fates to work their magic. It is echoed over and over in religious scriptures on 'waiting for God' or allowing divine intervention to answer in their own time while we simply wait, hoping that their wisdom will make things better.

( Read more... )

ultimately I fear two things.




To combat those fears I will encourage myself and others to use the formula of: This will hopefully meet the need of easing my fear of time pushing concerns into dormancy and causing change to be an extreme.

I have given a verbal commitment to respond to the volunteer coordinator within 48 hours.
As asked ( this post was a little long for a response post) so here are the specifics.

 - Oct 3rd  Saturday Game kick off at 5pm         (need 3 more volunteers)
 - Oct 23rd Friday Game kick off at 7:30?pm     (need 8)
 - Nov ___ and Nov __  ( dates determined by game win/losses )

IF you volunteer for one or more of the games above, you may volunteer to attend the:
 - Nov 29th Grey Cup                                               ( need 16)


On the day off:

•    You meet at Cardel Place
•    gather 1.5 hours before kick off.
•    get free parking
•    a $10 voucher for food ( no alcohol consumption please)

You help people find their seats ( even though the numbers are very clearly marked), directing them to an easier "shoot" if applicable and then you get to watch the game when not seating people. ( though even while seating people you can still SEE the game LOL)

Please wear:  Black pants ( preferably not jeans), White shirt and comfortable black ( or dark ) shoes.  Stadium Blazers will be loaned for the evening use.


What does the group get out of this?
For each adult volunteer, the squad gets $25 per night. 

This helps the kids who will get to go :

• gliding
• camping
• international exchange programs
• flying
• (they even get paid to go to summer camp)

and learn:

• music
• sports,
• Canadian history ,
• etiquette
• public speaking,
• teamwork, 
• respect
• responsibility   
• their pilots licences

all for ____ FREE ____, I do not resent volunteering from time to time to help make it happen.  And when volunteering means Free Stuff for the Volunteers too?!  score!

Dman has joined the Air Cadets.

They are looking for volunteers to

WATCH STAMPEDER FOOTBALL GAMES
 - volunteers to act as ushers ( must be 18 or over)
 - are given Food voucher
 - free parking
AND get to watch the game for free!

If you volunteer for the Oct 3rd ( or the 23rd I think) you get to see the Grey Cup Game in Calgary too.